


Path

by Rikudera



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Brotherly Bonding, Explicit Language, Fluff, Football | Soccer, Gen, Humor, M/M, Post-Canon, Temporary Character Death, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 12:35:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6907498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rikudera/pseuds/Rikudera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life and death are both learning experiences. The only way for a person to go is forward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Path

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mostlyharmless](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlyharmless/gifts).



> Happy birthday to [mostlyharmless](http://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlyharmless)! Hope you enjoy the fic :)
> 
> Thanks to [voodooradio](http://archiveofourown.org/users/VoodooRadio/profile) for looking this over, even when it was down to the wire. The turns have indeed tabled.

Jack catches you, nearly by the throat. You push his bitingly hot, maroon crowbar away from you with your sword as much as you can, though it's all you can do to keep it from crushing your windpipe. The rainbow-hued heat steams up in flames from his carapace, licking at you from behind, singeing the short hairs at the base of your neck.

Dave is staring at you, halted halfway, his grip on his sword loose and unsure.

Then, you feel another bolt of metal slide between your head and Jack's. That must be the other Jack, because you don't think Terezi is tall enough for that. Now both of your opponents are just as locked in place as you are.

Dave is still hesitant. He should have a prime opportunity to win, here, so why isn't he moving?

Is he waiting on a call from you? You're in the way. You can't get out, but that doesn't mean you should give up, either, though.

You bare your neck, which is all that's currently between Dave and victory at the moment. It's the only thing you'd have to give him, anyway. You watch Dave's battle stance coalesce from confusion to realization to determination. You don't flinch.

It's so reassuring to not have to do it alone, this time.

Dave slices through everything in his path; your sword and three necks. In the last seconds before everything goes dark, you see Dave reach out to carefully catch your wayward head. _the big man HASS the rock_ , you think, and then you don't.

~*~*~*~*~*~

When you come back to, you're lying on the ground, Jane bent over you, shooting a steady stream of cerulean energy into your body. You groan and reach to touch your neck.

"You've got to stop doing this," Jane scolds you. You blink her teasing smile into focus. "One of these days, your noggin will forget how to stick back on and just might roll right off your shoulders of its own accord."

"Don't worry, I'm not planning on it," you smirk back, sitting up. "I've got lots of other strategies."

Dave's there.

"Hey," you tell him. You're not sure whether to say _I'm sorry_ or _nice job_.

"Hey," he says back.

"I'll go see how Terezi's doing," Jane says, sidling away.

"Hey," the other Dave says, from behind you. You turn to face him.

"See ya," the first Dave says. You whip your head back just in time to watch him blink out of existence.

"Wha-"

"It's fine," the Dave remaining says. Your neck is really getting a workout, considering it's just been put back together. "He just went back to go be me."

"...Oh," you respond, belatedly. Time travel makes your head hurt. Then, because you can't help yourself, "That was a pretty sweet catch."

"I know, right?" Dave says, then holds out his hand to help you to your feet. You take it.

By the time you're standing, you notice that everybody else has arrived through a fenestrated plane as well.

"Did I see a Past Dave go by when I got here?" Rose asks.

"It's possible," Dave shrugs. "Not like that's a big deal or anything. I do that kinda stuff all the time." Rose looks skeptical, though whether it's due to the bad pun or the actual time travel in question, you can't tell.

"Dirk, did I hear Janey just tell me you got your head cut off again?" Roxy stomps up to you, hands on her hips.

" _Again?_ " Rose asks, raising an eyebrow at you, her skepticism climbing to new heights as well.

"A guy loses his head twice, and suddenly everybody thinks it's a _thing_ ," you complain. What a heartwarming family reunion. "Hey, let's stop talking about this and go fight Cal instead." You whip out the Zilly Santa to complete the subject change.

"Oh my god, Dirk, put that thing away," Roxy says, wrinkling her nose. "I thought we agreed we were never gonna mention that ever again because it never happened."

"Of course that thing that we definitely aren't talking about absolutely never happened," you reply. "I don't know what you could possibly be referring to at all." It's so good to see her safe and sound.

"Good," she agrees. "Now that that's settled, put the Santa away, get your sword out, and let's go fight Lord English."

"Uh," you say. "I can't." You do put the Santa away, though.

"Why not?" Roxy asks.

"It kind of broke." You point to where the two pieces of your sword lie on the roof.

" _How?_ " Rose boggles at both you and Dave. You kind of wish she'd stop looking at you and Dave like you grew extra heads or something.

"Stuff happened." Now it's your turn to shrug.

"That's okay!" Roxy says brightly.

"I'm not so sure that's-" Rose starts.

"I got you another one," Roxy continues, pulling what can only be a second Not-So-Unbreakable Katana from her sylladex. She holds it out at you, beaming. It's got royal, magenta blood on it.

It's obviously not yours, since your katana is currently in pieces, so it must be... _his_.

You take a step back. You don't want to touch that thing. You don't want to be near that thing. You don't want to have anything to do with that thing.

"What?" Roxy blinks at the rest of you. "You guys are being so weird." Rose stares at you like she's vanquished your other, deformed head and is looking right through you, to the terrified parts of you beating and mangling the bars of their cage, straining to crawl to the surface.

"...It's got fish guts on it still," you lie.

"Oh my god," Dave says, faux-annoyed. "Just wipe the fish guts off." He takes the sword from Roxy and cleans it on your cape. "There, you can't even see the stain. Good as new." He holds the sword out to you.

"Alright," you say, closing your fingers around the hilt and sheathing it in your specibus.

"Come on, mom, let's go back to the lily pad," Dave says, then facepalms. " _Roxy_ , I said Roxy. Everybody else is already there, probably. "

"Ooh, we can't be late," Roxy says, then drags Dave through the fenestrated plane. His yelp gets cut off halfway as they travel through.

"I think I owe you an apology," Rose says, still studying you. "I underestimated you."

"I dunno what you're talkin' about," you say, looking away. That's a pretty low bar to jump.

"Shall we?" You glance back at her; she jerks her head to the fenestrated plane.

"Yeah."

~*~*~*~

You travel through the series of fenestrated planes, first to Jake's planet and the defeated pile of leprechaun mobsters, then to the volcano planet, with another defeated Jack and trussed-up leprechaun. On the lily pad, everyone's gathered in happy reunions. A troll girl with glowing skin immediately grabs Rose, so you wander over to where Dave is talking with another troll.

“This is Karkat,” Dave says. You nod in their direction. “He was the one who got the purple leprechaun.” Dave’s got an arm slung around the guy in a way that distinctly reminds you of several pictures you took with Jake, when the two of you were still together. Guess that explains the awkward romance questions earlier. “Karkat, this is Dirk.”

“Hey,” you say. You should probably give them some space. Who else is there to check on?

Just past them, talking with Terezi, is Jake himself. You halt.

"Stop staring and just fuckin' _talk_ to the dork, or something," Dave mutters, disengaging from Karkat for a moment to shove you over in Jake's direction.

"Uh," you say, stepping forward as if you'd planned it all along. Jake turns and looks at you. "Yo."

"Dirk," Jake says. Oh god, he looks sad, doesn't he? It's entirely your fault that he looks like that when he looks at you. You fucked up so bad with him.

"It's good to see you in one piece," you say. Your hand finds the back of your neck, and you rub it awkwardly like the total sap you always insisted you'd never be. "Saw a bunch of green dudes that I guess you beat up. That's cool."

"Mmhmm," he replies. "I take it your altercation with the carapace fellow resulted in a success, as well?"

"More or less," you hedge. "Listen, um-"

"I'm sorry," you both say, at the same time. You want to reach out and touch him to make sure he's really there, but you don't want your hand to get slapped away.

"Well," you attempt to recover, "I'm sorrier." Look at you, all taking responsibility for your past actions and shit.

"Dirk, you stop that right now," Jake retorts, pouting with his hands on his hips. "We just got out of some very dangerous battles, and we're about to go right into another one, so I don't think this line of reasoning is very... reasonable. In fact, I'd rather not rehash our past follies until this is over."

"No?" You can't help but smile.

"Absolutely not," Jake confirms, trying to keep his expression serious but quickly slipping into a familiarly charming grin of his own. "Let's save the haranguing each other for after we're both safe and sound, hmm?"

"Sounds good," you reply.

Behind Jake, still chatting with Karkat but now also with Rose and the other troll girl, Dave gives you a thumbs-up. You're too relieved to be embarrassed about it.

~*~*~*~

The eight of you who are actually god tiers zap away under John's power, to a strange, green stage in the darkness. At the head of the group are John, Dave, Rose, and Jade. Your group is right behind them, consisting of yourself, Jake, Roxy, and Jane. Standing on the stage are a cherub with a red chest, the clown troll, Lil Cal, and Lil Seb.

"Hey, jerkface!" John shouts. "We're gonna kick your ass! Again!" You glare at Lil Seb, the traitor, and he scoots behind the cherub nervously.

"I'd like to see you try," Caliborn smirks in response.

"Okay, guys," John says, looking back to the rest of you. "You ready?" He receives various affirmations in response, including a pair of thumbs-ups from you and Dave that you _swear_ you didn't plan. "Let's-"

Just as John leads the charge, Caliborn opens the red chest in his arms. Out of the chest floats a house. From the house comes a roaring sound, and then a vacuum that sucks the four original gods into the panels on its face.

Now, it's just you, Jake, Roxy, and Jane. You feel like your legs are frozen. Caliborn raises a hand at the house, and it sinks back down into the chest. With another flick of his hand, the chest vanishes.

You refuse to let it stay that way. You're _not_ going to lose your family just after you got them back.

"What did you do with my bro and the others?" you demand, once you find your voice, pointing your katana at Cal. Roxy is on one side of you, rifle ready but still waiting for a signal; Jake and Jane are on the other, just as impatient as you are.

"If you think you're getting a hold of my floppy stuffed friend again," Cal replies, tossing Lil Cal up into the rafters, out of reach, "you're wrong."

"You know that's not who I mean!" You're so angry, you're almost shaking. "Give them back!"

"That sounds hilarious," Cal grins green and gold. "I like watching you flail that sword of yours. Why don't you try and get them." You know he's probably the most powerful being in all of Paradox Space, but there's something to be said for righteous fury and an absolute refusal to give up until you see Dave and the others again.

~*~*~*~

After Roxy's banished the puppet full of souls to the deepest, darkest corners of Paradox Space, John inexplicably zaps himself and the other missing three back. They look in much better shape than you feel, but you're honestly just glad to see them alive.

"I'm so glad that worked," Jane says, as you all crowd together.

"Sort of?" John answers, scratching his head. "I don't actually know what let us out of the juju again, but we ended up in the Furthest Ring, and we had to fight that guy again."

"We popped out of that house like a stripper out of a cake at a bachelor party," Dave says.

"Dave, gross!" John says, sticking his tongue out.

"Don't worry," Rose adds, "there was no stripping involved."

"There were a lot of explosions, though," Jade says.

"Were there?" Jake asks, perking up.

"Explosions _and_ magic," Rose confirms.

"Was it wizard magic?" Roxy asks. As her and Rose burst into a little discussion on what counts as wizard magic and what doesn't, you shuffle carefully over to Dave.

"You look like shit," Dave says, mouth turning down the slightest amount.

"I feel kind of like shit," you answer, starting to laugh but having to stop with a gasp, holding your ribs when the pain shoots up your sides.

"You okay, dude?"

"Yeah, he was just using the gold leg on my sides," you reply. No big. It only hurts when you breathe too deeply, is all. Dave’s still frowning, though, so you should probably downplay it some more. "It's nothing critical, but Jane's out of juice, so we were planning to hold out until we saw Grandma Ghost again."

"Kay."

"Nice job on the Furthest Ring ass-kicking, by the way." You raise a shaky fist up for him to bump.

"Thanks." He bumps it. "...You wanna go back to the lily pad and finish winning?"

"Hell yes."

~*~*~*~

Once you get to the post-war Earth, one of the first things Dave does is introduce you to his carapace Mayor friend. Can Town is a real democracy now, the Mayor tells you.

"It's beautiful," Dave says.

"I grew up in a post-apocalyptic waterworld nightmare run by an amphibious alien dictator, so I don't really know what a democracy is supposed to look like," you say. Over the Mayor's head, Dave starts making _shut up_ gestures; you'd ignore them, but the gestures are at his neck. "But I have to admit that this is a pretty sweet setup," you amend. "I'd be willing to learn more about democracy."

The Mayor tells you he can personally reassure you that Can Town's democracy is miles better than any post-apocalyptic world you might have spent your days in. Dave, here, he beams proudly, has studied from him extensively and would be happy to teach you.

Dave stops gesturing and shoves his hands into his pockets.

"Nah, man," Dave protests. "I've still got ages to go before I know enough about democracy." Is he blushing?

The Mayor says there's no one he can think of who'd be better to teach other people than Dave.

"Gotta work with what we have, I guess," Dave says. Yeah, he's definitely blushing. He starts pushing you up the steps of City Hall; you have to catch yourself to keep from tripping and making a SBAHJ joke out of you both. "C'mon, let's go learn about infrastructure."

~*~*~*~*~

“Hey, uh, sup,” Dave says, one afternoon, as you’re working on some robots in the largest garage.

“Sup,” you reply, screwing the chassis closed on the bot you’ve just finished with. “I just finished with the tracking updates on these, and I wanna get ‘em out before it gets dark. You wanna help put the plates back on?”

“Okay,” he says. You toss him a screwdriver and gesture to the half-dozen robots still bare of protective covering. “What am I supposed to do?”

“The chest plates need to be screwed back on,” you say, “With the larger ones at the top and the smaller ones on the bottom.”

“Sounds good.” He grabs a stool and sits down beside you. The two of you work in silence for a minute or so. You wait. “So, uh…” You’re not going to rush him. “I was hanging out with John today, and we were talking about different stuff. Like, mostly the stuff I've been helping the Mayor with in Can Town, and how he's been helping Jane and their dad with the consort education programs, and I guess we mentioned game stuff once or twice, but it was mainly in relation to how much better things are now, you know?”

“Yeah,” you reply. “Can't imagine anyone who'd say things _aren't_ better now.”

“Exactly,” Dave continues. “So we were just shooting the shit, okay, and since he’s in a good mood and everything, I decide that it’d be okay to mention my romantic, uh… situation that I told you I was gonna mention to him but hadn’t actually done yet, so I tell him how we went on a date the other day cleaning up some of the overgrown Liberty statues.”

“You called it a situation?” The fact that he’s actually coming to you for advice on this is pretty awesome, though.

“No, not to him,” Dave says, “but every time I think I’ve gotten the right word for it, I end up changing my mind, so that’s just what I’ve been calling it in my head.”

“Fair enough,” you respond. “Most of that language is obsolete now, anyway.” Or at least, that’s what you told yourself about terms like that in the past. “I’m pretty sure you can call it whatever you want as long as everybody involved is okay with it.”

“You think so?”

You shrug.

“What did John say?” you ask him. Gotta steer this conversation back to the original topic, or you two are gonna meander; not that you’re against meandering in conversations, but Dave seems like he wants to talk about the John thing.

“He didn’t… really react much at all?” Dave answers. “Which was _weird_ because he always makes a big deal out of everything, so I kind of just started talking without really thinking about it, and I asked him what he thought about the situation, and then, get this, he goes ‘I’m really glad you’re such good friends!’” He stops screwing the plate on the robot to look at you, gesturing with the screwdriver in his hand. “Like, how the _fuck_ is that the conclusion he arrives at? Because I literally said that we were on a date. I called it a date to his face. So I ask him what he means by what he just said, and then he goes into this _thing_ about how before he did whatever zappy thing he did that he still insists wasn’t time travel - even though it obviously was - I apparently didn’t get along with anybody! And then he asked if I was mad at him because he said his zappy thing wasn’t time travel, and I said now that he mentioned it, I kind of was, but it was mostly because of how dense and unobservant he was to how blatantly obvious it was how well I _actually_ got along with people, and then I left but I felt like too much of an asshole to talk to him again right away, and then I came here.” He takes a deep breath. “And now John has an even worse misconception about my relationship situation because I haven’t corrected him on it yet, but he’s probably too pissed at me to listen, and I don’t know what to do.” He tilts his head back and covers his face in his hands, muffling a wordless noise of frustration.

You give a small sigh of your own. It’s hard to give advice when you haven’t known John for very long, but if he’s as sheltered as Jane was, and if he takes as much stock in movie relationship accuracy as Jake used to, then you’ve got a decent idea of where the miscommunication is coming from.

“Okay,” you say, “I’m not saying you have to put any kind of label you don’t want to on your relationship ‘cause forcing that shit’s not cool, but I think with someone like John, you have to be direct, or he’s not gonna get it. Not because he’s dumb or prejudiced or whatever, but because he probably hasn’t seen many relationships that aren’t something out of a Nic Cage movie, or worst case scenario, a Bing Crosby movie.”

“Who’s that douchebag?”

“Exactly,” you continue. “So if you say that it was a _date_ date, that you guys are _dating_ like, I don’t know, insert cliche movie romance here, then he’ll probably get what you mean.” Oh, hey, Dave’s not muffling his agonized screams in his hands anymore, that’s rad. “As for the zappy thing, I don’t know anything about time travel, but I figure you’re the expert on that, so I’m gonna leave that to your judgment.” Does that cover everything? “Oh, and maybe apologize if you think you were an asshole ‘cause it’s not gonna be fun if you let that linger.”

“...Yeah, I should probably apologize, huh,” Dave says. “And like, raid the town’s massive, three-story multicultural movie library for a good example.”

“There you go.”

“Okay.”

“You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah,” he says. “He’s frustrating as hell sometimes, but John’s a decent guy.”

“Sweet, go and talk to him, then. I can finish the rest of these robots on my own.”

“Thought you wanted to get these out and running around before it got dark,” Dave says. That may still be true, but you would've been done faster if you'd been working on your own, anyway.

“...I think I’ve learned that dealing with people should probably be a higher priority than dealing with robots,” you respond.

“Probably?” he echoes, putting his screwdriver down and looking directly at you. You stop a second and think about what you just said.

“...Fine, okay, definitely,” you amend, trying not to wince. “People are definitely more important than robots.” Is he _laughing_ at you? “I can admit it,” you insist. “People are charming and fun to be around, and their unpredictability is both refreshing and spiritually enriching.”

“ _Spiritually enriching?_ ” he’s _laughing_ , that bastard.

“Get out of my garage,” you say, pointing dramatically. Dave starts cracking up. “Out. I mean it.”

“Okay, okay…” He muffles another laugh. “I’m going.” He goes.

~*~*~*~*~

Some time after that incident, Rose tries to teach a bunch of you how to play soccer. Only you, Jake, John, Jade, and Roxy are really into it; Dave and Terezi have decided to heckle instead.

"Where did you learn how to play this game?" Jade is asking Rose.

“I saw it in a movie,” Rose replies.

“I’m willing to believe that,” Jake says. Of course he is. You look over to see his expression; he’s holding his chin and nodding along.

“Ha!” Roxy says, kicking the ball right past you and into the makeshift goal. “Score!” She high-fives Jade.

“ _Bend It Like Beckham_ doesn’t count as educational programming,” Dave says.

“I disagree,” Rose says. “I found it very educational.”

“Even I could’ve seen that shot,” John tells you, walking to the goal. “We should either switch or take a break.” You shrug, pick up the ball, and hand it to him.

“ _Bend It Like Troll Beckham_ was better,” Terezi says. “Equal amounts of bloodsport and romance.” She starts talking with Rose and Dave about sports some more, and the rest of you pack up the soccer equipment.

Once you’re back in town, everyone disperses except you and Rose, who are now trying to find out where to store all the brand-new soccer paraphernalia.

“I didn’t think it’d be so difficult to find a spot for these things,” Rose says. She’s holding the ball with one hand, opening various doors with the other. You’ve somehow ended up carrying the rest of the stuff, trailing behind her like a particularly unwieldy handcart.

“Shouldn’t there be a storage room on this floor?” you ask.

“I thought so,” she responds, “but these all seem to be full.”

“Did we check if there’s a basement or not yet?”

“No, but that’s a good idea. Follow me.”

“Sure.”

You walk to the basement in relative silence, until Rose laughs quietly.

“What is it?”

“Oh, it’s just,” she sighs, “I didn’t think I’d ever run into the dilemma of where to put a bunch of sports equipment.”

“I dunno,” you say, “I thought it was fun. I’ve never actually gotten to play a real sports game, before.”

“That’s just the thing,” Rose says, looking back at you. “When we were playing the game, Dave and I would joke about how terrible our knowledge of sports were. It was just one of those things we knew we were never going to need to learn, so we never bothered.”

“To be fair,” you reply, “everybody still sucks at playing soccer.”

“True,” Rose says, resuming her trek to the basement. You continue to follow her. “Looking back, though, there was a whole list of things were were so sure we were never going to do. I thought I had everything predicted.”

“What other things did you predict?” you ask. You don’t really get a lot of one-on-one time to talk to Rose, but now that you’re doing it, you decide you should make more of a habit out of it in the future.

“Little things,” she says. “Big things. Some really stupid things, too.” She laughs again. “I thought I was never going to make a crystal ball, but it was too convenient not to use. Dave said he wasn’t going to argue in any of the memos.” She starts walking faster. “I was never going to find out why my house was covered in tacky wizard paraphernalia, and I _definitely_ wasn’t going to even _think_ about touching any alcohol.”

“Did you?” You hadn’t known about the alcohol thing with Rose. She laughs again, though not as lightly as before.

“Don’t worry,” she says, “I got talked out of _that_ one pretty quickly.”

You arrive at the basement. Rose pauses in front of the door.

“Takes a lot of effort to not do shit like that,” you say. Rose smiles at you, small and cautious. “Having someone willing to check you on that stuff so you aren’t…” being a completely terrible person in every conceivable way, beholden to the worst inclinations possible, “repeating previous mistakes, or becoming like someone you don’t wanna be like, that’s… that’s important.” Rose stops smiling. “You have to be careful.”

“I guess we're both lucky to have people to help us out when we need it,” she suggests.

“Yeah.” How do you follow up on that admission, though? “The crystal ball sounds really useful, at least.”

“Oh, it was,” Rose agrees, opening the door and scanning the basement. “It just felt kind of cliche, you know?” She walks over to an empty shelf. “This is a good spot.”

“Yeah.” You start unloading the sports equipment into the shelf.

“Dave told me it was the same with him and his sword,” she adds, “though I think he was more annoyed by how convoluted the alchemization process was than anything else.” Rose helps you with the equipment. “Though considering that at one point, he started refusing to do any time travel at all, he may have just hated his land quest as much as I hated mine.”

“What are you talking about?” you ask.

“What do you mean, what am I talking about?”

“He had no problem doing the time travel,” you say. “I saw him do it. I thought it was kind of his thing, anyway.” If anyone's powers should be avoided unless absolutely necessary, they're yours.

“I thought he told you,” she says, blinking at you strangely.

“...No?” If there's a hint she's trying to give you, you're not getting it.

“You should ask him about it.”

“Alright.” You don't think it'd be right to force the subject, but if it comes up, you'll give it a shot.

~*~*~*~*~

You get the chance to ask Dave about the time travel thing about a week later, during one of your free afternoons. Calliope had told you about this particular grassy hill, which she'd heard about from Roxy, who'd heard about it from Rose and Kanaya. It was a good place to watch the sun sink down behind the buildings of the town and to see sky go from blue to orange. It’s a pretty nice shade of orange; you'll have to tell Calliope that when you get back to town tonight.

Someone’s walking up to you from behind. You turn to see who it is.

“Hey,” Dave says.

“Hey,” you say.

“Jake said he was looking for you.”

“Thanks. I’ll go find him soon.”

“Sure.” Dave sits down next to you. “This place is nice.”

“Calliope told me about it,” you say. “It’s got a good view.” Again, you wait until he’s ready to talk about whatever it is he actually wants to talk about. You figure you’ve got a good system set up between you; Dave helps you act like an actual human being, and you help give him advice on other stuff.

“John told me why he had to do all the zappy stuff,” Dave says eventually. “It was because everybody got into a fight with the Condesce, and she smashed a bunch of our planets around, and we all died except him and Roxy and Terezi. Terezi had to use her mind powers to help him figure out how to zap around and make all the things that went wrong unhappen.”

“Everybody was dead?” you ask. “You were dead, Jake was dead, Rose was dead…?”

“Everybody was dead,” Dave confirms. “And everybody died with regrets. I’d say they got just as raw a deal as anybody else in a doomed timeline, but from the way John explained what his powers actually did, it wasn’t like normal time travel.” He picks a blade of grass and holds it up against the orange sky, splitting a long, thin strand with his fingernails. “I don’t know if those other versions of us even went to the bubbles like they were supposed to, since John didn’t zap back to change the alpha so much as make it so the alpha never got doomed in the first place. So I think it might mean those other versions aren’t doomed, but they’re… us.” He presses the two halves back together.

“Wouldn’t they be us anyway?” You’ve never thought that doomed yous were ever anyone other than you; it’d be folly to think you could get away from yourself that easily.

“I don’t know.” Dave throws the blade of grass down the hill with a sigh. “I spent so long trying to make myself comfortable with the idea I’d have to regularly watch everybody die.” He picks another handful of grass, “Then I’d have to go back,” he throws it again, blade by blade, “save them, and then die, myself. I’m not used to thinking about that the other way around. I feel bad that we all messed up enough that John had to fix things, when it should’ve been my job to fix it in the first place.”

“Rose told me you used to refuse to do any time travel at all.”

"That’s because it sucked, obviously,” Dave says. “I used to hate time travel, even when it _didn’t_ involve anyone dying. That doesn’t mean I ever wanted John to have to go through that. He’s meant to be able to handle windy shit, not time shit. It feels unnecessarily cruel.”

“What was it like? The regular, not-dying time shit.” The closest you ever got to dealing with time shit included three deaths and then cutting off your head for three subsequent kisses and revivals.

"It felt like running and running and running in a circle, but never getting anywhere. And at the end of each lap, I’d either be right back where I started or I’d find another dead me."

"That's not really true, though, is it?" you reply. Dave immediately opens his mouth in protest. "Not about the deaths," you add quickly, "I'm not saying _those_ didn't happen because they obviously did. I mean the part about never getting anywhere."

"What do you mean?" Dave asks, voice hovering on the edge of roughness.

"Well," you continue, "Each time you found a dead you, it was because you were changing something, right? So you learned something the last you never got the chance to learn. And even if it was just a... loop, or something," you don't understand time loops, and you probably never will, when Dave is there to understand them for you, "then you still knew more at the end of it than you presumably did at the start of it. If you look at it that way, it's not really a circle at all, right?"

You never had the luxury of going back and fixing anybody’s mistakes, certainly not your own. You've got no choice but to live with the things you've done.

"Since when the fuck did you know anything about circles?" Dave shoots back.

"I guess I don't," you say. Thinking about loops that aren't circles makes you think of the swirls on Calliope's cheeks. Does Dave know, you wonder, how terrifyingly powerful he could be if he didn't sell himself so short all the time? You don't think being a cherub actually has anything to do with doing awe-inspiring, wondrous things, in the oldest sense of the words. "Maybe that's just how it looks from outside." You can't offer him any perspective other than your own.

Dave's expression offers no answers, even for you, who's spent a lifetime crafting facial unreadability. You wonder if you've said the wrong thing.

"What does it look like?" Dave asks, quiet, barely above a mumble. You look down and trace a little swirled path on the grass, from the inside, expanding outwards. Dave pulls his knees up to his chest.

"...Sorry," you say, taking your hand back.

"No," Dave says, still quiet, "it's fine." He's still staring at the grass. "I never really thought of it that way, before." Another few seconds of silence. "I like it."

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Dave looks back up towards the sunset, and you follow suit.

“Mm.” You watch in silence as the orange bleeds into red, until you can barely see it behind the buildings of Can Town.

“It’s gonna get dark soon,” Dave says.

“I should probably find Jake,” you say, standing up. Dave follows suit, and the two of you begin walking back towards town.

“How’s that going, by the way?” he asks. “You guys still taking it slow?”

“Yeah,” you answer. “It’s a lot better this way, actually.” It’s… really nice, is what it is. You don’t feel worried all the time, anymore. “Even I’m capable of learning things.”

“You sure about that?” Dave smirks.

“Come on, I know hells of shit,” you shoot back. “My mind is like my hair.”

“Overly convoluted?”

“I was going to say incredibly sharp.”

“It makes me wanna laugh.”

“It’s awesome.”

“It’s ridiculous.” The two of you continue to bicker cordially until you reach civilization, at which point Jake spots you and starts running towards you with a yell.

“Dirk!” Jake says, once he reaches you, wrapping a hand around your arm. “I’ve been looking for you all day! I wanted to show you something.”

“What is it?” you ask him.

“It’s a surprise,” Jake replies, tugging you away.

“What kind of surprise?” You look back towards Dave for a moment; he’s watching you amusedly. You raise your free hand in a half-wave.

“If I told you, it would ruin the surprise,” Jake says. Dave half-waves back. “Dirk?”

“Yeah?” You look back at Jake.

“You’re not walking.” Jake is looking directly at you, almost pouting. You kind of want to kiss him, but you agreed not to do that in public, so you restrain yourself. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” you say. “Everything’s fine. Let’s go.”


End file.
